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a little bit more about me

My name is Beth and I accidentally have found myself living in Arizona but I'm originally from Tennessee. My education is in history and anthropology, which means that I know a little about a lot of things and can hold my own at a cocktail party in mixed company. I work in museums, doing all sorts of things ranging from researching and writing exhibits to cataloguing absolute wickety wak. I love comedy, baking, photography, my daughter, dogs, and above all else, napping.*

* 2013 edit: Oh yeah, and my new son too.

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    Entries in funny (20)

    Saturday
    May052018

    did I meet a murderer?

    I went to a friend's house for dinner tonight, and one woman was explaining why she decided to reconnect the cord and sign back up for cable (namely because it was a bundled deal that would make internet + cable TV cheaper than internet + streaming services).

    A man then went on to explain he would refuse to ever do that because of a long-standing beef against the cable company, in which he was slapped with an $800 debt that belonged not to him, but to a different man with the same name in the same apartment complex. His name is uncommon enough that it would be seem that would be incredibly unlucky for him - his last name isn't as common as Smith or Jones - but not so unique that you'd be completely able to dismiss that as completely impossible. So he moved in only to find the cable company had mailed him a notice that the $800 debt had been handed over to a collections agency, it ended up on his credit report, and was a huge pain in the ass.

    But here's the thing. After all of that, it turns out that's not even close to the worst case of mistaken identity he's been through. 

    A few years later, it turns out that the police called upon him to come in for questioning. He had no idea what that could be about, but it turns out that there is another man with the exact same name wanted for murder. He explained how insane it was that there were these (very unfortunate) coincidences. His name, year of birth, and even where he lived in California before Arizona, all the same. He was able to explain it all away and obviously the police have given up on him being a murderer, but how many (ahem, white) people does this happen to?? 

    I turned to My Better Half and whispered: "Alternate theory: the guy sitting next to us, he is the murderer guy they're looking for."

    Tuesday
    Dec022014

    Getting slapped around by irony

    Another academic jobs cycle has all but come to a close. After submitting to all available openings in his field, My Better Half scored exactly zero interviews - so far, anyway. We haven't extinguished all hope just yet because some places are still reviewing applications, but let's face it, chances are not good. So we were looking for silver linings yesterday while My Better Half was sorting through the mail. I said "At least we're not going to be moving to North Dakota?" as he unfolded a newspaper clipping that his dad had sent in the mail.

    This article, in fact:

     

    Oh the irony!

    PS - I don't care, I'm *still* not moving to North Dakota. I'm sure it's lovely and all, but it is not for me.

    Friday
    Sep122014

    Shart week

    Dawdler Toddler Preschooler: Mom, we learned DON'T touch sharps. They're sharp!

    Me: Sharps?

    Dawdler Toddler Preschooler: No, wait. Not sharps. <thinking...> Sharts.

    Me: Sharts?

    Dawdler Toddler Preschooler: Yes, sharts. Swimming in the ocean. Sharts.

    Saturday
    May312014

    Smells like bacon

    Me: I hate these spray sunscreens. I just don't think they protect at all. I feel like I'm just sizzling. Like they just seem like cooking oil or something, they're so oily.

    My Better Half™: So do you think they just repackage Spam & throw a sunscreen label on the bottle?

    Me: Pam. Not spam. Not an aerosolized pork product.

    Thursday
    Nov012012

    A Candy Hangover

    Last night was probably my last Halloween spent doing anything other than trick-or-treating for awhile. Next year Baby will be well past 2, and she will undoubtedly demand tromping around begging for the good stuff. After all, her first solid food was actually Peppermint Patty, given to her at four months when we came home from my BFF's wedding with mini York Peppermint Patties in hand, much to My Better Half™'s dismay startlement. (Yeah, I know, that's not a word).

    At any rate, Baby dressed up in a hand-me-down teddy bear outfit, but only for long enough for us to take this picture.

    As you can see, she HATED wearing a costume. So we took it off and she just handed out candy to the 4 or 5 trick or treaters we got in regular clothes. Even though she's cute in a costume, she's much cuter when not crying, so no costume it was. And that's fine with us.

    But here's something to make your trick-or-treating tummyache better. Don't lie, you know you stole some Tootsie Pops out of that bag!