a little bit more about me

My name is Beth and I accidentally have found myself living in Arizona but I'm originally from Tennessee. My education is in history and anthropology, which means that I know a little about a lot of things and can hold my own at a cocktail party in mixed company. I work in museums, doing all sorts of things ranging from researching and writing exhibits to cataloguing absolute wickety wak. I love comedy, baking, photography, my daughter, dogs, and above all else, napping.*

* 2013 edit: Oh yeah, and my new son too.

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    Tuesday
    Aug052014

    it's not me, it's all of you

    One of the joys of sharing a single vehicle is we get to discuss our mutual hatred of local radio. If I had time to Google, I could confirm that all radio stations are really just run by one single horrible algorithm (I'm talking to you, I Heart Radio, I think?) that plays the shittiest songs all at the same time and all go to commercial at exactly the same time, too. So we constantly find ourselves bopping from one preset to the next trying to find something less awful than Don Henley or Eddie Vedder or Van Hagar or...whatever. By the way: it's a terrible day when you find that the classic rock station's playlist is actually stuff from your own adolescence rather than tunes from before your time. Related: June 2003, you still haunt me. Anyway, as we were driving around tonight, I lunged for the off button in 0.06 seconds when Rod Stewart came on. 

    My Better Half: "Have you ever wondered if, instead of everyone else having bad taste, YOU'RE the one with bad taste, just unable to appreciate that Rod Stewart is actually good?"

    Me: "Uh, no! Have you?"

    My Better Half: "God no!"

    What a ridiculous question.

    Saturday
    Jul122014

    How to avoid bath time antics

    Recipe for ensuring your kids smell straight-from-the-bath fresh and clean with a minimum of difficulty and effort:

    Have older child scrub your face with their bath soap during imaginary bath time. Do not rinse.

    The rest of the day any time you cuddle or hold your child, you will think "Awww. You smell SO good."

    Thursday
    Jul102014

    Let's Make Everything Harder for Parents, Shall We?

    A conversation in our house this morning:

    Me: “…so the bottom line is, yes, Dawdler Toddler can start preschool next month, & there’s still availability, we just have to decide which of the 10 preschools in the district we want her to go to.”

    My Better Half™: “why not just the one in walking distance to which we are zoned?”

    Me: “No preschool there.”

    My Better Half™: “So just send her to the closest one in our district that has a preschool.”

    Me: “oh, sure. You’d think it would be that easy. But here’s the tricky part: preschool in our district is 4 days a week…no school on Wednesdays…and you choose the morning half day, which ends at 11:20 OR the afternoon half day that ends at 3:20…”

    My Better Half™: “…can’t you just do both to get a full day that’s 8:20-3:20? Even though that's NOT A FULL DAY at anybody's work?!”

    Me: “…no, because it’s exactly the same school day, just repeated twice.”

    My Better Half™: “…so what are we supposed to do with her after the morning or before the afternoon? And ALL DAY EVERY Wednesday?”

    Me: “…that’s an even bigger question. So there’s a before/after school program for those of us who, I dunno, work and stuff? But it’s only offered at some of the 10 preschools. There is one full-day option – it’s a Montessori multi-age classroom, but that’s only at 1 of the 10 preschools… and we’d be committing to the Montessori track…which I’m not sure I’m on board with…and anyway we would have had to registered forever ago because there’s a waitlist for that.”

    My Better Half™: “…okay, so I guess we do the preschool that’s closest to us AND has one of these before/after school programs.”

    Me: “…agreed. So now we get to the next question. Of the preschools that also have the before/after school programs, which of those do we want her to go to Kindergarten at?”

    My Better Half™: “…okay, now you’re just talking crazy. She’s only 3!”

    Me: “…yeah, I know. But here’s the thing: Since our elementary school, the one in walking distance, doesn’t have a preschool, she can either go to preschool wherever we choose and then switch at kindergarten to where we’re zoned OR continue on to kindergarten wherever we send her to preschool. There’s this thing where if your elementary school doesn’t have a preschool, and as a result you send your kid to a district preschool somewhere else, you can choose to continue on at that school where she started for kindergarten & elementary – y’know, so your kid doesn’t have to make all new friends at a new school all over again. So it’s really a question of where do we want her to ultimately go to kindergarten & elementary school.”

    Both of us: <banging head on counter>

    Me: “…and there’s actually kinda significant differences in curriculum & in quality in the different district elementary schools that also have preschools so…”

    ----

    Is it absolutely bonkers that we’re talking about WHERE TO SEND OUR JUST-TURNED-3-YEAR-OLD to kindergarten?! Is this INSANE or normal these days? Hard to tell…

    Sunday
    Jun292014

    nope, not bitter at all

    Me: What time are we meeting our friends at the Children's museum? 9:00?

    My Better Half: uh, not til 11:00... 

    Me: <raising one eyebrow>

    My Better Half: I tried to get them to agree to meet around 9:00 but then they said "Why so early?!"

    Me: Their kids must sleep in.

    Me: F*ck them.

    ----

    I can at least take solace in the fact that last night the Yankees (their team) lost to the Red Sox (ours). While I drink my coffee and pray for an early nap.

    Thursday
    Jun262014

    Got Chuckle?

    Does anyone have a recipe for homemade chloroform? I ask because I'm exhausted but I can't sleep. Insomnia + exhaustion is a bad combination.

    By the way, how do I know homemade chloroform even exists? Because I still remember a story My Better Half told me about a long time ago, where a friend of his figured out how to make it and called his homemade concoction "Chuckle" because the chemical makeup was something like CHCl or something. If you know how to score some, let me know. Til then I'll be self medicating my insomnia with listening to the most boring podcasts I can find.